It’s funny how difficult people find it to list their own talents, skills & strengths. As if being aware of what you are good at is something to be ashamed of. Is it a lack of confidence? Low self-esteem? I’ve seen this with the client focus form I use with my clients to prepare for their next coaching session, which asks them to list accomplishments toward their goal AND the skill/talent that it took to accomplish it. The purpose being to get them focusing on their strengths as a way of life – another step toward mindful living. It proves to be a challenge for many to answer this.
A tool I use with the clients who find it a challenge is simply writing a list of what their personal assets are – skills, talents, strengths. When this is difficult to start, I encourage them to either consider something they are proud of accomplishing and how they were able to do that or think about what others say are their personal assets. However it is important that they also write down some from their own thoughts.
When even this proves to be difficult, a really useful tool is to encourage them to buy “Strengths Finder 2.0″ by Tom Rath. There is an online questionaire that you complete and it tells you what your strengths are based on that – they refer to them as your “Top 5 Themes”. Not only that, it also tells you how you are different than other folks within your top themes AND offers you an action plan of how to work within those themes.
You do need to buy the book because there is a specific code in the book that you will need to access the questionaire. Also, the code is only good for 1 individual ….. so don’t buy it used unless you confirm that the code packet has not been cut open and/or the magic silvery stuff hasn’t been scratched off to reveal the code.
Filed under: Confidence, Gratitude, Life, Life Coach, Mindful Living, Simplify
Part III of “Change The Way You See Everything Through Asset-Based Thinking” by Kathryn D. Cramer, Ph.D and Hank Wasiak discusses methods to change the way you see situations. They point out the fact that when we have feelings of anxiety when presented with challenges, while normal initially, they are also very limiting. These feelings tend to hold us to a narrow perspective and keep us from recognizing all of the possibilities that come along with such experiences. Here are some of the ideas to open yourself up to the situation:
- “The Wider the Lens, the Better the View”: By staying open to every possible detail of a situation, you’ll have more options to work with. Your internal dialogue regarding challenges influences not only your personal perception, it also forms your interactions with others.
- Reframe your perspective of something being a threat (harmful) to a challenge (growth).
- Remember the power of focusing on slowing down your breathing. It calms you and will facilitate “Asset-based thinking”.
- “See the problem as a pause”: See it in slow motion and you will be able to get a better understanding of what is going on. Don’t get overwhelmed by the situation or problem, instead focus on the goal and keep moving toward it.
- Reverse the 80-20 rule by focusing “80% of your attention on opportunities and 20% correcting what’s wrong”.
- Create visions of what you want your life to look like. With this vision in mind, you’ll have a greater sense of purpose as you move toward having what you want.
- “Laws of Attraction”: Use your positive thoughts, actions and words to attract other like-minded people. This will make your “circle of influence” a fantastic resource to draw from in any situation. Surround yourself with people who inspire you.
When you are able to look at a situation with endless possibilities and as a way to grow, you can have whatever you want. Absolute freedom!
Filed under: Confidence, Gratitude, Life, Life Coach, Mindful Living, Simplify, Uncategorized
In taking a look at the next idea in “Change The Way You See Everything Through Asset-Based Thinking” by Kathryn D. Cramer, Ph.D and Hank Wasiak, you can change the way you see others. They include considering:
- “Use your positive filters, get more traction” where we get back into the mindset of looking at everyone we encounter as having something positive to offer, even through their negativity. We are all merely a work in progress. Acknowledging others “out loud and often” when they do something positive and remembering those things as your relationship grows over time.
- Looking at conflict as an opportunity to change your mind. Consider both sides of the issue as being true at the same time to eliminate any defensiveness and inspire curiosity. Working to create a truth that both sides can agree on.
- Recognize that each of us has behaviors that are less than desirable however we are still worth having a relationship with. Focus on the person’s strengths and what you like about them.
- “Tell the truth fast”: When approaching a conversation you think may be difficult, create a “healthier dialogue” by being clear and concise about what is bothering you; tell the person how it is affecting you and your relationship with that person; and, offer the “positive vision” you have for resolving it.
- When you look at a person, have your first thought be what you like about them. It can be anything from the dress they are wearing to the story a friend told you about their passion for rescuing dogs from bad situations. Have this be your thought before you even begin speaking with them.
- When you see a trait in someone that you admire, imitate it. “As a student of the assets of human nature, you are now ready to spot the best of what anyone has to offer.”
- Consider asking someone “How did you do that?” rather than “Why did you do that?” See the difference in tone ……
When we are able to look at others in a positive light from the get go and really open up to someone else’s thoughts on a particular issue, we open ourselves up to really growing as individuals. Challenging others to consider a different way of looking at someone is often met with resistance however it doesn’t mean we should give up!
Filed under: Confidence, Gratitude, Life, Life Coach, Mindful Living, Simplify
Even us optimists; who see the world in the best light, give everyone the benefit of the doubt; and, assume that all will be right in the end; can have trouble with extending the same feelings to ourselves. The book “Change the Way You See Everything Through Asset-Based Thinking” by Kathryn D Cramer, Ph. D and Hank Wasiak gives practical exercises to do just that. It includes such exercises as:
- Reflecting on what you accomplished each week and the talents and skills you used to do so.
- “Magnify What’s Best and Focus on What’s Next” encourages you to revert back to thinking of things the way a child does, instinctively.
- Realize you are perfect just as you are today. We are always growing and learning.
- Thinking of 5 personal assets you have and 1 deficit that hinders your effectiveness. Then determine how your assets can help you through a current challenge or opportunity. This is “the five to one rule” and it facilitates your growth.
- Have a vision based on passion.
All of these things help a person focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses. They empower you to take control of your life rather than just letting it happen. We have the choice and choices give us freedom! Mindful Living – deliberately choosing what we bring into our lives and what we choose to eliminate from our lives.
Take your positive thinking and attitude to the next level! Check out www.assetbasedthinking.com which is the website related to the book “Change The Way You See Everything” by Kathryn D. Cramer, Ph.D and Hank Wasiak.
They have fantastic ideas about making positive thinking (asset-based thinking) your automatic way of looking at yourself, others and situations. The book has exercises, of sorts, to get your mind to think that way always. I’ve taken some of these ideas and made them my own for my life coach practice to get my clients to focus on their accomplishments and the skills and talents it took to acheive them. Creating an environment of empowerment.
In establishing more specifics regarding my Simplification Coaching practice, I decided to define some powerful terms I plan to use frequently.
Mindful Living: Deliberately choosing what you allow into your life and what you choose to eliminate from your life.
Simplify: Breaking something down into smaller and more manageable pieces.
Balance: Just the right amount of life energy being applied to each valued aspect of your life.
Imbalance: When one or more aspect of your life is requiring more of your life energy than you would like it to, causing you stress or discomfort of some sort.
Role of coach: To ask powerful questions that allow the client to shift perspective, clarify their vision/goals, discover their own creativity and resourcefulness and move forward toward the life they truly want.
| Simplify defined: | |
| verb | |
| make simpler or easier or reduce in complexity or extent.
Is there anyone on the planet, or in the universe for that matter, who hasn’t felt the need to simplify some aspect of their life at one point or another? I would question anyone who says they have not. It is pretty typical to begin a challenge or opportunity in our lives with needing to break it down into the smaller steps that will get us to the end result we are looking for. Some people are able to immediately see that the smaller steps make it more do-able. Others begin by feeling overwhelmed and apprehensive. By turning to someone who can help them recognize the smaller steps, it becomes simpler and easier. As a Simplification Life Coach, I thrive in an environment that allows me to help people create more balance in their lives by breaking down the stressors in their lives into smaller, more manageable parts. By focusing on each piece one at a time and dealing with it in that manner, you can feel the balance come into your life with each accomplishment. As the stress decreases and the balance increases, you feel yourself naturally moving into the next step with greater intensity and committment. |
While I was stuck in a rain storm the other day, I decided to pull into a parking lot and wait for it to let up a bit. As I sat in the car, I began thinking about my classes at ICA and how much I am enjoying them and how they are helping me with taking a closer look at myself.
I especially enjoyed a class called “Commitment vs Trying”. I began thinking about some things in my own life that I have been trying to do however have not taken it to the level of being committed to it. I grabbed a piece of paper and jotted down 6 things I am now committed to. Lunch with my husband, exercise for myself, moving forward with some school things I have been putting off, etc. I also communicated my commitment to the others involved and it feels great!
Well, I have completed a draft (which number I’m not sure) of my coaching model to use in my practice. I am grateful to many people for reviewing it and giving me feedback. A fellow ICA student and new friend, Toni, has given me ideas for the visual part of it as well. It was so kind of her to put her energies into it for me! Thanks Toni!
So here goes World …….. SIMPLIFY Coaching Model
Support the client
Investigate the imbalance
Motivation for balance
Plan for change
Love the process
Inspired by possibilities
Feel the empowerment
YOU are the Master of Your Life!
If you are interested in “seeing it in action”, just contact me and we’ll set up a Discovery Session to see if a coaching relationship would work! Cheers!
Confidence comes in all shapes and sizes. It comes on with one twist of events or it comes on gradually. You can build it yourself or you can rely on others to help you “see the light”. However it comes, it is the way to achieving what you truly want in life.
If you think about it, it is confidence that makes you bold enough to take the first leap toward your goal. Once you have taken that first step, the next step comes that much easier. And with every additional step toward your goal, it is making it more and more real and more and more possible.
A few weeks ago I found myself wanting to move forward with my life coaching training and begin looking for clients. There was something that was holding me back though. Turns out it was that little, lack-of-confidence bug that can sometimes speak up rather loudly in my head saying “Are you sure you can do this?” Once I squashed that bug, I sent out an email to friends, family and acquaintances and now have my first external client and a Discovery Session with another. I also went searching for some peer clients (fellow ICA students) on the discussion board of the ICA website and found my first peer client. I signed up to be an ICA buddy for new ICA students because I believe that is another great way to find potential peer clients.
Confidence is powerful. Confidence is freeing. Confidence allows you to move forward and take step after step and not question what the results will be. Whatever they are, it is just another step toward achieving your goal. Fly or fall, it is still another step that gives you that much more experience and can teach you something big or something small. Either way, it is beautiful and fantastic!
